We have been telling people this for years: what the world needs is an exercycle hooked up to LCD display and a game console, so when you are training during these dark cold months you can stop watching Nancy Grace on the washed out TV at the gym and, instead, shoot aliens. Or zombies. Or—be still, my heart—a cyber-Nancy Grace.

Researchers at Skidmore College and Union College have determined that “exercising with an interactive computer game improves brain function among the elderly.” According to this story in the Albany (NY) Times Union, seniors who raced stationary bikes on a 3D course against a virtual competitor “saw a 23 percent decrease in the risk of cognitive problems.” (The original study appeared in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine.)

Volunteers exercised on recumbent bicycles three times a week for three months, half  on so-called “cyberbikes” and half on conventional exercycles. “Both groups saw improvements in blood pressure and leg strength, but the cyberbikers scored better on tests of memory, attention and executive brain function… In blood tests, the cybercyclists also had better levels of a biomarker called brain-derived neurotrophic growth factor that is believed to be an indicator of brain health.”

Let’s say that again: the seniors on the cyberbikes saw their risk of cognitive problems decrease by 23 percent. How much would we pay for a drug with that benefit?

The researchers didn’t express an opinion on whether other cyber-sports (like games on the Nintendo Wii or Microsoft Kinect systems) would have the same beneficial effect. (Those games aren’t usually sustained over long periods.)

This is a good demonstration of benefits, but it isn’t the best use of the technology. It needs to be hooked up to a game pad, or it needs to have buttons on the cyberbike’s handlebars that will allow you to fire at your competitor using a double-barrel shotgun, or an Uzi or AK-47. Or, let’s say not your competitor but an alien or zombie. Or the game could turn your bike into a bi-plane or death star that you could navigate through space. You could accelerate away from other ships and black holes by pedaling faster. And you could shoot things.

Take it from us: if this system was made mandatory, it would cure the national obesity epidemic. Or it would drive kids away from their Xboxes and into the parks.

NASA photo of astronaut Joseph Acaba exercising with the ergometer, the agency’s version of an exercycle, deployed here on Discovery’s mid deck, via Wikimedia Commons. How amusing would it be if an astronaut played a version of Space Invaders while orbiting the earth? Very amusing. As an aside, it is endlessly fascinating to see how much duct tape was deployed on our now decommissioned space shuttles. Future generations will find this astonishing.